The Various Misadventures of Foggy Nelson and Matthew Murdock
by Wholocked221
Summary: ...Avocados at Law. A series of drabbles about the various misadventures of the best damn avocados this city has ever seen, both in the court room and out, inspired by tumblr posts and submitted prompts.
1. Everything is Black

**AN: I really shouldn't be starting a new series, but... I couldn't help it. A series of drabbles about our favourite avocados and their various misadventures in life and the court room, inspired by tumblr posts and suggested prompts, which I am taking.**

* * *

Foggy had waited up for this. Sure, he hadn't know Matt Murdock long, but they were already very good friends. And his duties as a newly anointed best friend included bugging him to no end about the date with the cute girl from Foggy's Punjabi class, and pranking the _hell_ out of him. (Why he took Punjabi, he'll never really know. Probably because it was the only course that fit in his schedule.)

He grabbed a coke from the fridge - because hey, he was at Columbia, he was broke as shit - and settled down on the couch to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Around hour 1, he had an idea.

At about hour 1.5, he'd made some calls and started moving the furniture. There was a fellow law student in a dorm near by who said he could use his room for a while.

At hour 2, they were moving the last of it in and Foggy was giving the student a 20 dollar bill, which would totally be worth it when Matt came back.

At hour 3, Foggy was sitting criss-cross on the floor with his third bottle of coke and playing Solitaire.

At hour 4, he heard the tell-tale clacking of Matt's cane down the hall, and he grinned. He was going to be the _best_ best friend after this. The ulta best friend. The best friend supreme. He leaned back against the wall and waiting, watching the door open.

Matt froze in the doorway, frowning. "Uh... Is this the wrong room?" Foggy laughed, unbending his legs and stretching them out, trying not to upset his card game.

"So," he said conversationally, "how was that date? Was she hot?"

Matt sighed, a resigned look on his face, and made his way into the empty dorm. Foggy triumphantly grinned in the background. "You know I can't tell, Foggy."

"Yeah, but don't you do that weird finger thing? Touch her face? Was she hot. Was she hotter than me?"

Matt sighed deeply for the second time in the short conversation. "She was black."

Foggy tilted his head, confused for a second. "Dude. Why does that matter?"

"She was black. You're black. I'm black. The room is black. The sun is black. Everything is black, Foggy, I'm _fucking blind."_

Foggy laughed, standing up and crossing the room, throwing an arm around Matt. "Let's go get our furniture from down the hall, best friend."

"You're an idiot, Foggy," Matt said, but he followed anyway.


	2. But Have You Considered This?

**AN: Why I'm writing another one of these and not getting ready for school tomorrow the world may never know. Please submit prompts! Thank you!**

Foggy was not very excited to hear that his appendectomy had to happen three days before their big court date with their current client. Matt wasn't very excited either, but, hey. Foggy had to get his appendix taken out, Matt could live without him. Foggy just wasn't too excited that he'd have to miss the court date. He'd been preparing hard for this one. He was going to nail it.

But the day came, and Foggy was high as a kite on some sort of painkiller he couldn't pronounce sober, laid up because of some complication with the surgery, and Matt headed down to the court house alone. (He and Karen had both agreed that it wouldn't be very smart to leave him alone, so she'd stayed behind with him.)

No one, the judge, the jury, the prosecution, the defendant... No one had any idea what was going to happen.

"I object!" Matt said forcefully, standing up straight, his cane tightly grasped in one hand, hearing some sort of odd-sounding scuffle from the front room of the court house. He could distinctly make out Foggy and Karen's voices. His heart sank, but he wasn't supposed to be able to hear that well, so he pressed forward. "Your honor, the prosecution's witness has stated an inaccuracy. Mr. Peterson's ex-wife earlier said that-"

He stopped when a soft murmur made its way through the court room. The noise was getting louder, and Matt turned to face the doors, frowning. "Mr. Murdock, would you please cont-" The judge stopped as well when the door banged open.

Matt could tell it was Foggy immediately, and there, of course, was a harried-looking Karen hurrying behind him. "Foggy! Foggy, stop, you're going to rip your stitches, Foggy..."

Foggy, who was half dressed in messy suit pants, a white rumpled shirt, and a black untied tie around his neck. "The prosecution makes a compelling argument, your honor, but have you considered _this_?" And with that dramatic line, Foggy stuck his middle finger up.

Matt could practically feel the heat rising on Karen's cheeks. "Foggy!" she whispered forcefully, taking his arm. "Foggy... I'm so sorry, your honor..."

Matt turned and swept down the aisle, taking his best friend's other arm. "I'm very sorry about my partner, your honor," he said. "He just had surgery, he's high, please don't fire us."


	3. I'm Always a Slut for Doritos

**AN: These are really fun to write and they seem to be enjoyed, so I'm gonna keep doing them, haha. Prompt me and**

"Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt."

Foggy called out Matt's name again. They were working in Foggy's office today, Matt set up with his feet on Foggy's desk, skimming through some Braille files while Foggy was playing Galaga, a book open beside his laptop.

Matt, of course, wasn't paying attention.

"Matt. _Matt_. Maaaaatt."

Foggy huffed at no reaction, he _knew_ Matt could hear him. Scanning his desk, he grabbed a piece of paper and wadded it up, tossing it at it his friend. It hit him right in the ear but he didn't move.

"Matt. Matthew. Matthew Michael Murdock. Matt. _Matt_."

Nothing.

Nada.

Okay, he was doing that just to annoy him at this point, he _knew_ it, he could see that annoying little smirk on his face...

" _Matt_ ," he insisted one more time. "Matt, I'm hungry. And we have no food here. And you've been to my house. I have less food than you do."

Matt finally deeply exhaled. "Fine." Foggy shouted triumphantly and stood up from his chair, it rolling back. "He answers! Did-"

"Our latest client gave us an advance, he's been satisfied thus far. We'll go down to the grocery store a few streets down and get a few things."

"Matthew Murdock, you are my best, best, best friend ever and I love you. Have I told you that before?"

"Too many times and also not enough, my friend."

* * *

"Hey, Matty," Foggy said when they were just about to get in line to pay for their meager supply of milk, peanut butter, bread, two boxes of Oreos, a shit-ton of ramen, and a few other assorted items. "I just remembered something I need to get. Wait a sec." Matt nodded as Foggy turned and left, heading back down the aisles.

Matt deeply inhaled, taking in the smells. Most strongly, as if it were in front of him, he caught whiffs of salt, cheddar, and potato... He must be near the chips aisle. "Hey, Fog!" he called, and his friend stopped, a few aisles down. "What?"

"You want some chips?" he said, raising his voice slightly.

And, of course, because he was Foggy, he _had_ to shout at full volume, " _I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS_!"

Matt sighed deeply, the kind of sigh one makes when questioning their life choices. He grabbed a bag of chips that was likely anything but the requested chip.

"Man, I really hope these are Doritos."


	4. Foggy Nelson Sucks

**AN: The meme team strikes again. Enjoy :)**

"Shit." Foggy swore heavily under his breath. He knew they shouldn't have done this. Yeah, the band playing was one of his favourites growing up, and they were reuniting for a show, and of course Matt had wanted to come, and it turned out Karen loved them, too. So all of them had taken a day and headed out to the concert.

But the crowd was big. And even with his super-senses, he was still _a blind guy_ in a _huge crowd._ As an added mistake, there was so much to hear, to smell, to feel. It must be horrible for Matt.

"Shitshit _shit_!" he said, increasingly more empathetic. With the loud music pounding around them and the crowd pushing there was so many of them... "Where the hell is Matt?" he said, turning to Karen, panicked. "Foggy," she said patiently. "Stay calm, okay? He'll be okay we'll find him." As an afterthought, she added, "I think I know how to find him."

She took a deep breath and cupped her hands around her mouth. "FOGGY NELSON SUCKS!" she yelled over the music. "Foggy," she said, pausing and nudging him. "Help me out. You have to do it too."

Foggy sighed, but hey. If it brought Matt here, it'd be worth it. He raised his hands up and shouted, as loud as he could, "FOGGY NELSON SUCKS!"

They both took a deep breath and yelled together, "FOGGY NELSON SUCKS!"

* * *

Matt wasn't sure how he heard it. All of the sounds, the smells, everyone touching him and _everything,_ he's not sure how he managed to pick out a few words in the fray. They were faint, but they weaseled their way into his consciousness. _"Foggy Nelson sucks!"_

Oh, no. Oh, _no. No._ He wouldn't stand for that. He could put up with a lot, but random strangers shouting about how his best friend, his avocado, an amazing lawyer, the man who was better than him, better than anyone, his _cinnamon roll, sucked_? He _was not_ going to deal with that. He fought his way through the crowd, not recognizing the voices in his blind anger. (Pardon the pun.)

"FOGGY NELSON SUCKS!" the pair shouted again. "Who the FUCK SAID THAT?" Matt yelled above the crowd, and suddenly they could see his head in the crowd, making his way towards them.

Foggy laughed softly and turned towards Karen slightly. "Found him."


End file.
